More and more, I am seeing patients in my Breastfeeding Medicine practice who are experiencing true PTSD as they embark on a second or subsequent breastfeeding journey. PTSD stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and while we usually think of it as something that happens after huge traumatic events, like combat, it can also come up in unexpected places—like after a difficult birth or breastfeeding experience. I've realized over the years how common this experience is for so many mothers, and I think it's important to put it out there and make more people aware of it so they can address it as early as possible.

For a lot of women, having had a tough experience with breastfeeding or birth in the past can create trauma-like feelings when they start thinking about having another baby. It’s not just about remembering something difficult; it can be more complex, like actual PTSD symptoms. This might include flashbacks, anxiety, detachment, or a deep sense of dread about what’s coming next. And if that’s something you’re feeling, you’re definitely not alone.

How Trauma Can Show Up in Birth and Breastfeeding

Most of us associate PTSD with extreme events, like soldiers coming home from war, but trauma can happen in all kinds of situations—including birth and breastfeeding. For example, birth trauma might be caused by unexpected medical interventions, feeling a lack of control, or even just feeling like you weren’t heard during the birth. And breastfeeding trauma often stems from experiences like “triple feeding”—nursing, pumping, and bottle-feeding in a constant rotation to try to build up milk supply. While this can be a useful tool, it’s also exhausting and can leave a mother feeling like she’s completely drained and robbed of those precious early moments with her baby.

Sometimes, these memories lie under the surface and come up again only when another baby is on the way - or once that baby has already arrived. You might suddenly feel dread about reliving that experience. It’s natural for these fears to creep back in as you prepare for another birth or breastfeeding journey, and they can cause PTSD-like symptoms if they’re not addressed.

Recognizing PTSD Symptoms Related to Motherhood

PTSD from birth or breastfeeding trauma can show up in a variety of ways. Here are some of the signs that can appear in this context:

• Anxiety and worry: Many mothers worry that they’ll face the same challenges a second (or third, or fourth) time. “Am I going to have trouble with production again?” “What if my baby can’t latch?” These worries can create a lot of anxiety even before the baby arrives.

• Depression or feelings of failure: It’s easy to feel guilt or sadness if you felt like you “failed” at breastfeeding or birth the first time, even though it was out of your control. This feeling can get wrapped up in the PTSD response.

• Detachment and avoidance: To protect yourself from more hurt, you might tell yourself you don’t care about breastfeeding this time. You might feel like it’s easier to just avoid the whole experience. But deep down, you know that breastfeeding still matters to you and you would ideally hope to have a better experience now.

• Flashbacks and emotional triggers: Just thinking about what happened before can bring back intense emotions, almost like reliving the experience. This can make it hard to stay focused on the present or feel excited about the new baby.

Knowing that these feelings are a valid response to trauma can help you recognize when it’s time to get some support.

Finding the Right Kind of Support for Healing

Getting professional help can make a huge difference. A therapist trained in perinatal mental health understands what you’re going through in a way that general therapy might not. They know how pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum can uniquely affect a mother’s mental health, and they have tools to help you work through it all.

Ideally, having someone there to talk to while you’re still going through the initial traumatic experience or soon afterward—rather than waiting until things build up or until that next baby is almost here —can be especially helpful. By connecting with someone who can help you unpack these emotions, you’re more likely to feel prepared and supported when a new baby arrives. Processing these feelings can allow you to move forward and approach the future with more confidence.

Building a Strong Support System for Your Next Experience

If you gave birth during COVID, you might have experienced a different layer of trauma—masked faces, restricted visitors, and separation from family. All of these restrictions added stress to an already intense experience, and this kind of trauma is very real. With your next pregnancy, focusing on support from family, friends, and providers who know what you’ve been through - and how you're hoping it can be different this time around - can help create a positive, healing environment for you.

This time around, take steps to surround yourself with people who make you feel heard and valued. Whether it’s a partner, close friends, family, or a medical professional, having this support in place can help you feel like you’re not going through it alone. Knowing that you have people in your corner, rooting for you, can ease the fear and help you focus on welcoming your new baby with peace and confidence.

Working with a Lactation Consultant for a Positive Breastfeeding Experience

Finding an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) or a Breastfeeding and Lactation Medicine doctor can make a huge difference. A consultant who truly understands birth and breastfeeding trauma is a fantastic resource, and they can help guide you through the experience with compassion. Working with a lactation consultant means having someone who knows the physical and emotional sides of breastfeeding. They can give you practical support while also acknowledging and respecting any past trauma you’ve been through.

If you have access to a comprehensive care package similar to the 4th Trimester Package that I offer, this might be perfect. Having a physician lined up who can do house calls and support not only your baby's pediatric needs, but can support your needs as a new mother, healing postpartum woman, and lactating person as well. You can have so much peace of mind by gifting yourself something like this to create a much more supported experience than your previous one was.

Moving Forward with Hope

If you’ve been through birth or breastfeeding trauma, finding support to process those feelings can make a huge difference in how you approach motherhood this time around. You don’t have to face it alone, and you deserve to feel supported every step of the way. Therapy, a solid support network, and an empathetic lactation consultant or breastfeeding doctor can all help you heal and reclaim your postpartum journey. Consider starting therapy and lactation support before your baby arrives in addition to after.

This time is about you, too. It’s okay to acknowledge the hurt, and it’s okay to want a better experience. With the right support, you can face these feelings, heal, and welcome your baby with hope, confidence, and peace.